← greedle.us
🚗 The Driver Kit
You're not the villain. You never were.
Greedle is a game your riders play during the ride: they scan your card, a little monster hatches from the hidden cut skimmed off the fare, and the whole town keeps score. The middleman is the villain. You're the witness the whole story turns on.
🖨️ Step 1 · Print your placard
One 4×6 card. Black & white on purpose — it costs almost nothing to print. Set your printer's paper size to 4×6 (or print on plain paper and trim).
⬇️ Download the placard (4×6 photo)
Easiest way: download, then print it like a regular 4×6 photo (any photo printer, drugstore kiosk, or phone print app). Print two or three — cards get bent, borrowed, and stolen. Stolen is good, actually.
Prefer printing from the browser?
Open the print page and set paper size to 4×6 at 100% scale.
📍 Step 2 · Put it where bored eyes land
🪑 seat-back pocket
💺 headrest strap
🥤 console / cupholder
🪟 window corner
That's the whole job. The card says CLASSIFIED — curiosity does the rest. You never have to bring it up first.
🎙️ Step 3 · Your lines (when they ask)
“What's this card?” · the 5-second answer
“Scan it — it's a game. It shows you where your fare actually goes. Takes a minute, it's free, and it's funny.”
If they bite · the 15-second version
“A local built it. You catch a little monster made out of the cut the app skims off every ride. There's one question in it you have to ask me — I'll answer honestly.”
“How much did YOU actually get?” · the big one
Just tell the truth — open your driver app and read your payout for this trip out loud. That number is the whole show. You don't need to add commentary; the gap speaks for itself.
When their monster hatches
“That thing's made of the fee. Post it — the whole point is that this stuff only survives in the dark.”
📏 Ground rules (they keep this fun)
- Never pressure anyone. The card sits there; the curious find it. A rider who scans on their own is worth ten who got pitched.
- Never touch their phone. Everything happens on their device, on their receipt, by their choice.
- Answer the one question honestly — your real payout, from your app. The truth is the entire product.
- Never trash the platform by name. Greedle's villain is faceless on purpose. You're a professional; the numbers do the talking.
- Keep it light. It's a monster game. If a rider isn't into it, laugh it off and drive on.
The honest part: we don't promise this gets you better tips or more money — nobody can promise that. What it does is switch on a light that's been off a long time, with you standing next to it looking like the only honest person in the transaction. Historically, that's not a bad place to stand.
🏪 Bonus · Know a local business owner?
The flip side of Greedle is the Safe House list — local businesses the movement points people toward. If you know an owner personally, nominate them here — drivers know every business in town, which makes you dangerous in the best way.
